“We each move through the world in distinct ways…One style of adapting is not necessarily better than the others. We need them all in our world.”

- Dr. Stephen Cowan

 Upcoming Events



FREE EVENT through the Marlene Meyerson JCC of Manhattan

Register here

We often equate resilience with toughness. But research in the field of positive psychology and new discoveries from the science of happiness and well-being suggest that building resilience involves a different type of strength. When we allow ourselves, and our children, to experience a full range of human emotions — the difficult ones like fear, sadness and frustration, as well as positive emotions such as joy, gratitude, kindness and love — we will all be more prepared to navigate the ups and the downs that life inevitably brings. Given the stresses caused by the coronavirus pandemic, along with growing economic challenges and the raw emotions around the fight for racial justice and equality, building resilience through compassion is needed more than ever, for our kids and for ourselves. Join Ellen Feig Gray as she outlines evidence-based tools and practices from the field of positive psychology that can help build resilience with compassion. This presentation is based on a TEDx talk Ellen delivered in March, yet to be posted because of the pandemic.

Ellen Feig Gray, M.A., CiPP, CPCC is a certified Positive Psychology Coach, speaker, and author who specializes in helping families flourish and cultivate whole-being wellness. Using a strengths-based approach, and drawing upon evidence-based practices from positive psychology and education, as well as the wisdom traditions, she supports parents, children and teens in building resilience, becoming happier and more successful. She began her career as a developmental psychology researcher and applies relevant findings to parenting and education, both inside and outside schools. She is co-author of Hacking School Culture: Designing Compassionate Classrooms (2018).

“A Compassionate Approach to Building Resilience”
A TEDx Talk by Ellen Feig Gray
March 3, 2020

On March 3, 2020 Ellen delivered a TEDx Talk in Paramus, New Jersey, at the Bergen Community College TEDx event on “Resilience.”


Coming Soon!

Ellen has added “Counselor in Training” to her event roster, to co-facilitate Lisa Bailey Sullivan’s Camp Atta Girl! in South Florida, the Berkshires of Western Massachusetts, and the DC/Maryland/Virginia area in 2020. Stay tuned for specific dates and times for this fun-filled one-day and/or weekend retreat.

Past Workshops and Events

“Designing Compassionate Classrooms” 

at Learning & the Brain’s “Educating with Empathy” Conference 

February 2019

Ellen spoke to 400 educators on “Designing Compassionate Classrooms” at the Learning & the Brain “Educating with Empathy” Conference in San Francisco, CA, February 15-17, 2019.

Register for the conference here.

Book Launch Event
Free Workshop

with Angela Stockman and Ellen Feig Gray
Authors of
Hacking School Culture:
Designing Compassionate Classrooms

Sunday, June 3, 2018
12:00 noon to 2:00 pm

Books & Books
265 Aragon Ave
Coral Gables, Florida 33134


Book purchase is your “admission ticket” to the free workshop

Also available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

This workshop is for teachers, school administrators, parents, and anyone who is interested in designing compassionate classrooms.

Appreciating Your Child’s Nature:

A Fire Child, Water Child Group Chat

Facilitated by Parent Coach Ellen Feig Gray, M.A., CiPP 

Wednesday, 11 April, 2018

Choice of times:

10am-11:30am OR 12:30pm-2pm

Fee: $40 per person / $60 per couple (2 parents or caregivers)

Register and Select Time

Who is my child? How might I nurture their nature? How can I help cultivate my child’s whole-being?

Using Stephen Cowan, M.D.’s Fire Child, Water Child, with new materials he has developed since the book’s publication, we will address all five natures — from the Wild Child to the Peacemaker to the Daydreamer. Because “one size doesn’t fit all.”

We will incorporate Dr. Cowan’s recommendations for activities and practices to help our children grow their “super powers,” as we draw from the group’s questions about their own families.

Participants will be asked to complete a brief online survey in preparation for our April 11 group chat. A link to the survey will be sent along with a confirmation email upon registration.

For more about Fire Child, Water Child, read my book review.

Positive Psychology of Parenting Workshop Series:

Getting to Know Your Child

Featuring Ellen Feig Gray

Often as parents we come face to face with the question “What’s wrong with my child?” Our kids are labeled, evaluated, graded, scolded, disciplined, criticized (and medicated) so much that sometimes all we can see are the negatives.

In this interactive workshop series, Positive Psychology Practitioner and Founder of Parent with Perspective Ellen Feig Gray will help parents see their children in a new light with a greater understanding of their positive potential. Taking an appreciative inquiry approach from Positive Psychology, we will ask questions like “What’s right with my child?” “What are my child’s strengths?” “What is my child’s true nature?” and “How can I help my child become his or her best self?”

Drawing from the work of Dr. Stephen Cowan, pediatrician and author of Fire Child, Water Child, parents will discover their child’s “type,” nature, dominant characteristics and strengths, based on the ancient Chinese wisdom tradition of the five elements. We will also discuss and learn a variety of easy to incorporate tools and practices for helping each of our children flourish.

Participants will be required to complete a questionnaire for each member of their family (including themselves). Click here to access the questionnaire now. It is suggested that they purchase Fire Child Water Child as we will be reading portions of the book throughout the series. Available on Amazon.com, or at the workshop.

Parents are free to register for the entire workshop series, or for individual sessions.

For those who wish to understand their own dominant characteristics, the nature of more than one of their children, and/or how to cultivate the characteristics of each of the five types, it is recommended that you register for all five sessions in this workshop series.

Thursday, April 20, 2017: The Wood Child

Thursday, April 27, 2017: The Fire Child

Thursday, May 4, 2017: The Earth Child

Thursday, May 11, 2017: The Metal Child

Thursday, May 18, 2017: The Water Child

Thursdays, 12:30 – 2 p.m. at Inhale Miami (6310 NE 2nd Ave, Miami, FL 33138) 

Feel free to bring your lunch.

$139 for full five-session workshop

$25 for individual sessions; $30 for drop-ins

“Happy Campers” Parent Workshop: How to Help Our Kids Flourish
Featuring Ellen Feig Gray    /     Hosted by Inhale Miami

March 21, 2017 7:30pm-9:30pm
$25 pre register
$30 at the door

Inhale Miami
6310 NE 2nd Ave, Miami, Florida 33138


Spring Family ConnectShen™ through Movement & Sound

featuring Musician, Sound Healer & Experiential Educator Jared Bistrong

SUNDAY, MAY 15, 2016   3pm to 5pm


at CORPO YOGA in Downtown Dadeland, 9030 SW 72nd Ct, Miami, FL 33156

Cost per Family (up to 4 family members): $30

Each additional family member: $7

All ages welcome

Reserve a space for your family today 

(invoice issued by email upon registration)

Celebrate Spring and have fun with your family as you move together to the sounds of the didgeridoo, bowls, drums and other indigenous instruments all played by South Florida’s favorite one-man cave band Jared Bistrong. We will take you on a primal journey of movement and sound, designed to connect you and your family through free dance, musical expression, and an embodied exploration of Spring, the season of Fire Child Water Child’s “Wood type.” Through movement and sound that characterizes the power of wood pushing through the ground and the wind gusting in the trees, we will capture the force of nature and burst of new life in Spring. The program will culminate in a calming shared sound relaxation experience that is designed to renew your family ConnectShen™ (shen=spirit) and create space for you to relate to one another with new appreciation and joy.


Fire Child Water Child Workshop Series

April – May 2016, South MiamiParent with Perspective Event

Facilitated by Ellen Feig Gray

These are small group workshops so space is limited.
Reserve your space today. 

Discover your child’s “type,” nature, dominant characteristics, strengths, and vulnerabilities. We will discuss Dr. Stephen Cowan’s Fire Child Water Child and use the book and his presentation as a guide, while sharing stories about our own children’s nature and potential. We will also learn and experience a variety of easy to incorporate tools and everyday practices recommended by Dr. Cowan to help our children flourish.Fire Child Water Child Book

Series of 6 Fire Child Water Child Workshops:

9:30 am to 11:00 am in South Miami

Thursday, Apr 14     Who is My Child?
Thursday, Apr 21     Celebrating the Wood Child
Thursday, Apr 28     Celebrating the Fire Child
Thursday, May 5      Celebrating the Earth Child
Thursday, May 12    Celebrating the Metal Child
Thursday, May 19    Celebrating the Water Child

According to Dr. Cowan, parents can help cultivate the characteristics of each type to support a well rounded child. Although your child has a dominant nature, you will want to learn about all 5 types to strengthen the cultivation of their less developed characteristics as well.

Series of 6 Fire Child Water Child Workshops:  $60
or Each Individual Workshop:  $15

Payment may be made by PayPal or Check up to 1 week prior to each workshop
Invoice issued via email upon registration

Fire Child Water Child Workshops may open in additional locations in South Florida, upon request by the Parent with Perspective community.

Please feel free to contact us with any questions


How parents can help their children develop character, strengths, focus and happiness

February 26, 2016, Coral Gables

Join us for an interactive morning of practical wisdom with Stephen Cowan, MD, FAAP

Renowned holistic developmental pediatrician and author of the book that Deepak Chopra called “breakthrough work”

Learn new ways to help you navigate your way towards your children’s strengths at every age:

Preschool – Elementary school – Middle school – High school

Book signing follows presentation & Q&A
Refreshments will be served
FREE EVENT: RSVP to ellen@parentwithperspective.com

Dr. Stephen Cowan is a board-certified developmental pediatrician who practices from a whole-child perspective. In addition to his more than 30 years of clinical experience working with children, he lectures internationally on alternative approaches to health problems in children from birth to age 18. He is the author of Fire Child Water Child: How Understanding the Five Types of ADHD Can Help you Improve Your Child’s Self-Esteem & Attention and instructor for the online course on How to Raise Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children, as well as author of several popular articles, including  “11 Things I Wish Every Parent Knew.”